The Spuriously Puerile Information Taskforce (SPIT) has uncovered a surprising truth that is kept from the dining world for many years. A tiny, but pleasurable, pseudo-dessert has become in charge of adding unhealthy calories to unsuspecting diners’ diets for years. For far too much time it is often forced upon patrons, without even being requested, carrying out a restaurant meal. Through the diligent efforts of SPIT, legislation is now planned to safeguard innocent citizens using this waistband stretching snack. In Bill 8675309, the us government proposes to ban…the fortune cookie. Keep reading to find out how SPIT promises to rid society from the unhealthy fortune cookie and replace it with all the 100% healthier and prettier ‘Daily Affirmation paper cup’!
***The Mystery from the Fortune Cookie’s History***
To make this story even more shocking, SPIT has uncovered details about the mysterious reputation the fortune cookie. Even though it is served following nearly every Chinese food meal, the cookie was…developed in the us! And, in California truth be told. Take the time to soak that in…all the years you trusted you’re observing a Chinese tradition, you’re mislead. Duped. Lied to. Tricked. It’s almost criminal in the opinion of SPIT.
In fact there are two possible stories about how exactly the fortune cookie was created but nobody knows the real truth. In whichever version you think, the fortune cookie was created just as one act of kindness and thankfulness receive to other people. And somehow, these little cookies became an expected free dessert. (http://www.infoplease.com/spot/fortunecookies.html)
***Ingredients That Concern SPIT***
While fortune cookies are manufactured from quite easy baking ingredients, the most concerning ingredients for SPIT as well as the government, are salt and sugar. The constituents in a single fortune cookie recipe calls for:
* Sugar (bad, bad sugar)
* Salt (just as evil salt)
* Egg Whites
* Vanilla and Almond Extracts
Because you can be familiar with, sugar has become rumored to be linked with hyperactivity in kids. Furthermore, sugar is clearly a difficulty that is contributing to the growing obesity rates. Finally, salt are already associated with higher hypertension that’s associated with coronary disease. And, the worst is that there are suggestions that consuming sugar can lead to other addictions. The truth is, one theory on the net says that sugar might be much like a ‘gateway drug’ to alcohol and obesity. It’s on the net, therefore it needs to be true. SPIT is not prepared to comment on the truthfulness of the fact, but know you have been warned.
***4 Billion Fortune Cookies Each Year Are Manufactured***
Overall, this is a frightening finding from the members of SPIT! To add to the horror, these ‘cookies’ are manufactured within an amazing rate of four billion cookies annually. In 2013, it turned out estimated there were a little more than 7 billion people on the globe. That means that every man, woman, and child…no matter how old or how young…may have almost 1/2 of the fortune cookie annually. Shocking? Yes, but SPIT is uncovering these hidden techniques for protect you.
***Daily Affirmation Paper Cups Can be a Healthy Substitution***
Now, it may seem that SPIT is out to spoil all the fun of eating dinner your favorite Asian restaurant. But, you’d be so wrong. SPIT has proposed an enjoyable, new replacement the unhealthy fortune cookie. Inside the aforementioned Bill 8675309, legislation is roofed that would switch the fortune cookie with Daily Affirmation paper cups! Get ready to experience your preferred calorie and fat-free beverage inside your disposable paper cup. But wait…externally the cup is really a small peel-off section. Simply pull this tab, and “TA-DA”! You might have your evryday Affirmation.
No longer lame and depressing fortunes including:
“You happen to be almost to the peak. Which means you have further to fall.”
“A sensible way to get fit is to consume more Chinese food.”
“Maybe you can continue to exist the moon over the following century.”
“Ignore last cookie.”
“It is a fortune cookie.”
Instead, Daily Affirmation paper cups would have awesome and self-esteem boosting sayings including:
“You happen to be freaking awesome. Just keep being your awesome self.”
“You’re just perfect. Anyone that thinks differently is terribly confused.”
“Flowing hair is amazing, your outfit is stunning, and those shoes…wear would you get them?!Inches
“You’re genius. Why didn’t you feel an astrophysicist? The globe needs your abilities.Inches
“Support SPIT. SPIT supports you.”
Through these Daily Affirmation paper cups, diners would develop better attitudes as well as a better sense of well-being. The mental health community would embrace this tactic to get wellness to individuals worldwide. Depression rates would plummet and suicide would become virtually nonexistent. Perhaps, you may even imagine that Daily Affirmation cups could cause what every beauty pageant contestant wishes to have one day…’world peace”. That’s one small step for cups, one giant leap for mankind!
***Scyphus’ Ancient Greek Language Civilization Link***
Several governments already are on-board with all the Daily Affirmation paper cup idea. The Printed Paper Cups Company, a division from the Scyphus Group, already makes the perfect style paper cup just for this innovative option to the undesirable fortune cookie. This company has become making products from food-grade paperboard and food safe inks for centuries. It’s rumored that artifacts of cups through the Printed Paper Group have been unearthed in the Greek and Roman ruins. However, SPIT has determined that to be false as the products would have biodegraded prior to now. But, however ,, the cups are manufactured from a division from the Scyphus Group. And, in the ancient Greek civilizations, the Skypho was an engraved cup. Hmmm…Skypho, Scyphus? Do you visit a link? There could be a whole new conspiracy to think about there!
***Today the Fortune Cookie, Tomorrow the globeInches
But, returning to the Daily Affirmation paper cups replacing fortune cookies. Of course, Daily Affirmation paper cups may be expanded to achieve restaurants of all sorts. No longer would the concept of an after-dinner quote be limited to china restaurant. All cuisines would go with the Daily Affirmation cups. Italian, German, American, French…take your pick, the sayings may be translated into all languages. Suppose the world united in a single goal…the Daily Affirmation. Yes, you’ll be able to thank SPIT for that idea.